Like most (insecure) girls, I am also guilty for judging men as being shallow and narrow-minded. Before Obie and I decided to be together, one of the major questions that kept coming up was “Why me? I’ve always thought I wasn’t your type” This question being brought up (again and again) by yours truly.
To which he would reply, “Wait, so what do you think is ‘my type’?”
“You know… fair, skinny, chinita, the type of pretty you’d look at multiple times when she passes by you on the street.”
“You know what, that’s unfair.” he said.
And indeed it was.
I am Obie’s first girlfriend and that’s precisely the thing. When you’re the first, you’re not up against some horrible ex, you’re up against The Ideal. And what is The Ideal? For me that was the whole maputi-payat-chinita holy trinity. I immediately assumed that Obie, being a guy who was very reserved about the kind of girl that he wants to be with (when we asked him why he doesn’t have a girlfriend yet and why he wasn’t pursuing anyone, he replied with ‘if I’m going to get a girlfriend, I’m not going to waste my time and her time by making the wrong decision. I want my girlfriend to be IT.’) I assumed that he was aiming for The Ideal.
It’s funny because my opinion of The Ideal covers the physical traits alone. I believed men were willing to overlook personality flaws or incompatibility for the sake of a hot chick.
Maybe that’s true, but it sure isn’t true for all.
I found out that more than how you look like, what draws men or women towards you among other things would be Confidence. Charm. Class. Passion. Quirks. There are a lot of things about you that people can and will find attractive. It all sounds so horribly worn out but really, if you are confident and happy about yourself, it really does shine through. The edge about being happy and aware of your good traits over just being pretty is that this self-awareness does not only grab attention, it holds it. Arrests it, even.
Come to think of it, maybe I knew all these things already, I just didn’t believe it. Well, not until the most idealistic guy I’ve ever known told me that he likes me. :”>
touch it?
Posted on November 22, 2010 by Nic
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