Heh. My friend used to play that part. She had a really good guy friend whose girlfriend really ticks her off. She has been friends with the guy for a long time and here comes the girlfriend suddenly snatching her very good friend away from her. They don’t spend time with each other like they used to, they don’t talk that much anymore… a lot has changed since the girlfriend moved into her friend’s life and she hated it.
I tried sympathizing with her and looked at it from her point of view. It did seem unfair. A good friendship ending just like that would make anyone hate the one causing it. I used to think that way too until I lost my now ex-boyfriend to another.
That’s probably where I got all the crazy shit in my head from. All that looming girlfriend paranoia I can’t seem to shake off came from the realization that a purely platonic relationship between a guy and a girl is virtually impossible. You’ll probably argue vehemently about having your own opposite-sex bestfriend and never, EVER once thinking about him/her in a more-than-friends way so spare me all that lecture, okay? I know what you’re going to say and I have already taken that into consideration.
Your girlfriend is someone who is (in most cases) new in your life. You have your high school friends, your college buddies, your co-workers. You have all these people who shared a part of your life already and here comes your girlfriend suddenly holding the highest regard even though her ties with you can’t even compare to the age of the ties you have with your friends. Naturally, she would want exclusivity. If you have a best-girl-friend then you have to prepare yourself for some issues. Heh.
I’m not saying that all girls are the same. Some girls are blessed with a complacent sense of self that would make her overcome issues regarding the best-girl-friend. But for paranoid girlfriends like me who already experienced trusting that “friend who is a girl” and then being completely screwed over, it won’t be that easy.
And also, I’ve seen WAAAAAAAAAAAAY too many cases of guys falling in-love with their bestfriends and girls falling in-love with their bestfriends (and ultimately breaking up with their SOs because of them) to be complacent if my boyfriend’s friend-who-is-a-girl starts calling him…
…ON THE DAY OF OUR MONTHLY KOALA DAY.
…WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER.
…JUST SO THEY CAN GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER.
So forgive me if I didn’t take it lightly. Forgive me if I got mighty pissed at this friend-who-is-a-girl. Whom actually, I later found out had a crush on my boyfriend when they were classmates. (AH-HAH!) And also, I found out that my boyfriend had a crush on that friend-who-is-a-girl too. (DOUBLE HAH!)
Please don’t take it against me now if I’m not particularly fond of friends-who-are-girls. As I’ve said in a lot of “About Me” posts… I’m terribly, terribly insecure. And paranoid. I’m sorry.
touch it?
7 responses so far ↓
Ayzee // April 30, 2009 at 12:06 am
They[pertaining to BGFs] shouldnt exist.
Or at least, set some boundaries—and respect them.
God damn it.
sorbetera // April 30, 2009 at 12:13 am
YES. XD
Nagashiko // May 1, 2009 at 9:10 am
ALL BGFs ARE GOIN’ DOWN!!!
—–
I had the same experience with those f*ckin BGFs. My boyfriend met his BGF earlier than he met me. But I don’t think it’s enough reason for them to be too close.
One day, they went out. My BF even asked permission if he could go out with her. PUMAYAG NAMAN AKO! P*TA! I was so stupid! I confronted him. I told him that I don’t like her and… yada, yada yada… Then he said. “Dada naman, best friends lang kami! Nilalagyan mo naman lahat ng malisya eh!” I believed him.
But after a few weeks, he talked to me. He told me that he was inlove with her (ouch). I didn’t cry. I pretended to be strong even if deep inside, I wanted to die already. He even told me how hurt he was when she left for the states…
—–
Lesson learned: KILL ALL BGFs WHEN YOU HAVE THE CHANCE! Hehehe. Bitter.
sorbetera // May 2, 2009 at 10:55 pm
What? your boyfriend? as in your boyfriend RIGHT NOW? O__O
Kaith // May 4, 2009 at 3:34 pm
AMEN! respect, respect, respect! these best-girl-friends-who’s-friends-with-your-boyfriend-for-a-decade should know their limitations, and their “friendships” with OUR boyfriend’s boundaries. but well, men, just.don’t.get.it.
Japs // May 22, 2009 at 5:07 am
I completely and utterly understand this sort of thing.. It’s kinda happening to me right now.
Donya Quixote // July 28, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Three words:
Girlfriend – Alicia Keys