My Life Story as a Narcoleptic Prostitute

I used to have this girly crush on a guy from college. His name is Pocholo Goitia. (hahaha, a little *too* blunt maybe, but he won’t be able to see this anyway so… XD) I used to have this girly crush on him ever since I first read his short stories. He’s the only prose student writer I completely looked up to at that time. Whenever an issue of Dapitan comes out, I immediately flip over to his page, read his story then close the book. Yes, I’m THAT big of a fan. He doesn’t know this of course, but neither does Neil Gaiman.

I came across his blog and saw one of his posts. It’s kind of like a personality quiz except the results are super randomly generated. Yes, I have to say the word super because without it the description is powerless. Basically it’s a “quiz” that tells you what the title of a movie about your life is going to be and who will direct the said film. He got: Fiction. And the director? Martin Scorsese.

How… fitting.

Amazed at the wonders of randomly generated outcomes, I tried it and used my full name. This came out:

What. the. fuck.

Perversity and Woe? Hey! You! I can see you snickering there. Yeah, you! It’s not funny. T__T How can my crush get such a cool title like “Fiction” and I get “The Tale of Perversity and Woe”? Yes, the fact that it’s random does not concern me. I was hurt. My pride was hurt. (how can this automated thing see right through me?)

Thinking that Perversity and Woe CAN’T POSSIBLY BE the story of my life (perversity maybe… but woe? oh no!), I decided to try it again.

Stupid randomly generated quizzes!!! Why do you fail me!!!

little voice at the back of my head says: “That’s strike two. Care for a third?”

I say: “Yes! Third time’s a charm!! I’m going to use my online alias!! That’s BOUND to be different!”

I have this weird feeling the universe is trying to tell me something. I wonder what that is. XD

Take the quiz and tell me what you got!
Let’s see if you do better than I did.