When the time comes, I’ll win you back

forgive Sorbetera for being a little cranky today

I’ve had someone say that to me. No, not just one. There’s three of them. I really don’t know what is it about men and this “win you back” trend. When one of my ex-boyfriends said that , I believed him but that’s because at that point, I’d pretty much believe in anything he says if it means we’ll be together again. Ugh. Don’t get me started. I know that was pathetic, I’d like to think the whole begging and me being pathetic and a complete disgrace didn’t happen but oh well.. a year has almost passed since that incident. And I don’t think I need to tell you that I’m over him.

Anyway… back at that time when I was crying in front of him, begging him to stay (suck it up guys, you wouldn’t want to mess your keyboard up with vomit) he looked at me straight in the eyes and told me he’ll come back for me. When he’s able to settle things with himself, come to terms with his guilt and all that, he’d come back for me and if at that time I’d be in a relationship, he will “win me back”

Now that I look back on it, I must have been a pretty big idiot to believe that. Not to mention self-centered to actually look forward to that. I mean, imagine the poor guy who will have the unfortunate circumstance to be my boyfriend after the “I’ll win you back” ex-boyfriend. The poor sucker would practically be a caretaker; lavishing me with gifts, and love and attention until my ex-boyfriend settles his issues and wins me back. How conceited of me.

In any case, let me clear this out: I don’t believe in fate. I don’t believe in destiny. I never believed in the saying kung kayo talaga, kayo talaga. That my friends for me, is utter and complete fucking bull. If you want something, you make ways to get it. You push an effort because you want it. There is no Lady Luck who’d do the work for you. So if we separate right now or don’t get together now because you have issues you have to take care of, then it will never happen. We would never happen.

Do you know the exact emotions you’d be feeling tomorrow? How about next week? How about next month? How about after the next fucking decade?

You don’t. You never know. Time is a cruel mistress. How can you tell me that you’ll win me back after *insert indefinite number of years* if you don’t even know how you’d feel for me next month? If you love me now, if you can honestly say that you love me this very moment, then take me this very moment or let love pass you by.

Love is not money that you can keep in a bank and then withdraw for future use. Damn, if only it works that way I would’ve kept my love in a fucking swiss bank. Love is not exempted in the big rule of change. You can’t contain it. It flows. (yes, it does, no matter how cheesy that just sounded) If you miss an opportunity to love someone, you miss it forever because time will rip the two of you apart. Change will turn you into strangers. And when you meet again, you’d be wondering what the hell made the two of you stay together in the first place.

So win me back after this and that?

When that time comes, I bet you don’t love me anymore. Or at least not in that way anymore.

Needless to say, that’s why I love Brian. <3