Porn is on time?

Powerpoint template ko yan. LOL.

For Film class today, our group reported about an essay written by Linda Williams: “Film bodies, genres and excess”

Okay… ho-hum right? Let me elaborate: we were going to report about feminism and its role in Porn, Horror and Melodrama. Now, we practically had two to three weeks to prepare for this but we weren’t prepared the least bit. I mean, up to the last minute before going up on the platform, we were adding passages onto the powerpoint! That’s how bad the situation was. Yes. The very definition of tardiness is plastered all over our foreheads in clear, bold print.

But I could say that we were prepared at least for one part of our report. I was able to download movie clips that could show Linda William’s point about genres and excess. Part of which is that defining scene in the old horror flick Psycho; that shower scene that practically marked the standards of horror movie executions. Hear the background sfx yet? Yeah, that one. So after showing them the clips on horror and melodrama, the next logical thing is to show them movie clips of porn.

Now, we can’t really do that can we? Or else we’d get kicked out of UST faster than we can say ‘pron’

Amidst the booing of my classmates (what can I say, if I was one of them, I’d be booing myself. What’s so wrong with pron if it’s for a good purpose right? Uhh… yeah. Right.) we proceeded with the report. It was surprisingly comfortable talking about sex in front of my classmates. I wasn’t censoring anything, just saying it like it is:

Me: So kasi ganito yun… when it comes to porn, according to Linda Williams, the temporality of fantasy is “ON TIME” Anong ibig sabihin nun? Ibig sabihin nun, kung ano ang nakikita mo sa screen, kasabay yun ng nararamdaman mo. For example, nanonood ako ng nagsesex on screen, syempre may build-up muna, pati ako ma-eexcite muna. Hanggang sa mag climax sila on-screen, ako rin climax na. Kaya siya on time.

I honestly don’t know why I used first person perspective to describe the ‘temporality of fantasy’ of pornography. It seemed easier to describe it as if I was doing it I guess. Not that I haven’t watched porn before. I guess I just didn’t fancy relating my porn experience to the whole class.

The oldest one I’ve watched is that of Priscilla Almeda (come on… don’t be conceited bastards, I know you know who priscilla almeda is! hahaha) and Gary Estrada. The title was Sutla if I’m not mistaken. It wasn’t a deliberate attempt to watch porn mind you, my friends and I were looking for old VHS tapes and we came across something with the tag “Where the sleeping dogs lie” I googled the title and found out years later that it was a 1991 movie which was crime scene and suspense material.

Anyway, we pushed the tape in and waited eagerly to find out what the movie was all about. And to our surprise, we saw Priscilla Almeda (yes, uhm.. sexy stars should be addressed by their whole name. it’s SOP. LOL.) and Gary Estrada getting it on inside a cave. And the girl was complaining that her back hurt with all the humping because she’s lying down on a motherfucking rock. Oh yeah… really sexy. Excuse me while I hurl. (check the picture, I squirm, I don’t squeal, thanksverymuch)

That started my adventure with porn. I don’t actually go around looking for it, but when it comes, I’m not irked by it. I don’t go all “Eeeeeew!!! That’s like… so gross!! Like, you know!! Sooo.. yucky!!” Please. If you think I react like that, then you are not my friend and if you are my friend, well, friendship’s over you bastard. I don’t react like that. I might get disturbed and my stomach might go join the rhythmic gymnastics event in the Olympics but I sure as hell won’t go around squealing like that.

Holy shit. I just disclosed a porn experience didn’t I?

The things you say and the things you do sorbetera! Bad sorbetera! Bad!

Posted in: Daily Reads